Friday, January 25, 2013

[ shima & I ]

spending time with her before sending her at the bus station to go back to Kelantan.
I missed her so much.





mak cik putih ni, aku pun nak kulit putih macam Shima jugak. Thanks for the memories, thanks for the big apple donut, thanks for everything. ;)

[ ceramah motivasi ]

I managed to attend a talk, merely more on motivational talk held by our IPG.
I found it really interesting when the motivator knows how to read our wish. He asked us to write our wish on a piece of paper and folded it before we handed in to him. He managed to read the chosen piece of paper, where he can't even see the written wish. 

it is what he called as MUNAJAT.. for me, he is gifted with that ability to read the unseen wish. 
let's not talk about this as I wanted to highlight the main point for the talk.

throughout the almost two hours talk, I realised in the power of DOA'. 
When we write the wish, he asked us to have our doa first and he did the same way too. When he managed to read the chosen wishes, all of them were correct. He proved to us Allah does listen to our prayers , to our DOA. HE always listen, and I? I always have this doubt that my doa will never be granted. 

just keep praying, HE will be listening. HE did but HE just doesn't grant our wish and pray because of these reasons ( this is what I believe) : 

1. HE wanted us to be patient and keep praying for HIM, relying on HIM
2. HE wanted to replace with something better. Remember, HE knows better what we need not what we want. 

 Allah itu dekat, kita yang menjauh dengan NYA. Macam aku sendiri, aku yang jauh dari NYA. DIA sentiasa mendengar doa hambanya. Mohonlah sepenuh hati, DIA tahu apa di dalam hati kita. 

another highlight : berbuat baik kepada IBU BAPA. 
Betapa restu ibu bapa tu penting bagi kita sebagai anak. Berkatnya hidup kita adalah dengan redha ibu bapa.  Tetiba aku rindu parents aku siap menangis bagai lagi bila mention pasal parents ni. They own the top rank in my heart ok. Pulanglah bila ada kesempatan waktu, telefon lah bila free. Kalau topup boleh habis banyak untuk call kawan or boyfren girlfren takkan nak telefon mak ayah pun tak boleh? anak jenis macam mana kita ni... 

Semoga Allah menjaga ibu bapa aku di kala aku jauh dari mereka. Peringatan juga buat aku, yang tanggungjawab menjaga ibu bapa aku dan juga ibu bapa (mertua aku) bila aku dah kerja nanti. Jangan asyik busy dengan kerja. Mereka semakin tua, bukan semakin muda. Mereka pernah menjaga kita dan kita lah yang jaga mereka bila mereka tua. 

last but not least, have faith in HIM. HE does listen to our prayers, even though we are sinners. 

[ happy birthday ]

22 / 1 / 2013 : happy birthday mr. first love. On your 22th birthday. Tarikh lahir yang cukup cun untuk tahun 2013, sesuai dengan umur hang.

semoga apa yang impikan akan jadik kenyataan

aku harap Allah akan sentiasa menjaga kau.
aku harap gastrik kau akan sembuh. 
aku harap kau tak sakit lagi supaya kau boleh main bola, buat aktiviti lasak dengan baik.


selamat hari lahir ;) 

[ I end this ]

I finally ended this friendship. Verbally yes, but deep down from my heart, I never end any friendship so far in my life unless lovey dovey relationship. I definitely terminate the relationship without giving any chance to be friend. Sorry I can't

penat sebab perlu hidup dalam pura-pura yang friendship ni ok. penat bila selalu ignore all those hurting words from his friends. penat jugak untuk sentiasa makan hati bila dengan dia. 

aku pernah cakap dulu aku ada hutang dengan dia. cuma aku tak kuat untuk hidup tanpa dia, dia tempat aku clinging, I rely on him too much but knowing the truth, it hurts so much. so I pretend like nothing happen and I ignore all those words and treatments until I finally get tired with all these things

Aku ingin bayar hutang aku. Aku pulangkan balik hidup kau yang dulu, sewaktu kau tak kenal aku. Aku dah penat tipu diri aku jugak , yang aku harap at least aku bawak makna dalam hidup kau seperti mana kau bawak meaning dalam hidup aku. Cukup lah kan. Why do I have to keep holding on fragile relationship, why do I have to stay when I know I am no longer needed? I need to walk away long time ago.

I know I annoyed you too much, I know I disturbed you too much and I know no matter what I do, it is meaningless. Layan macam nak tak nak jer, ayat tu cukup sakit buat aku tapi aku tahu itulah kebenaran. Truth always hurt but I need to accept it instead of living in lies. I don't want to pretend anymore and I don't want to annoy anyone anymore. 

so kena kuat. Kena cakap pada diri sendiri, yang kena lepaskan orang yang sememangnya tak nak ada bersama kita pun. Tak baik buat orang macam tu kan. 

pcxs : 
thanks for everything
sorry for everything
jangan tinggal solat
jaga diri, main game jangan sampai lupa solat dan makan
jangan banyak makan magee. 
nice knowing you. 

p/s : I just don't why did I have to cry when I said goodbye just now. Yeah, maybe because I hate goodbye and maybe because I know I will miss you. I have to be strong enough to live without you, I know I can but it takes some times. 

Sunday, January 13, 2013

[ bahana twitter ]


actually I made a stupid mistake by having my classmates and IPG mates in my twitter. my twitter should be very private and they actually forgot the ethic of using twitter since twitter is much more open compared to  facebook. Bahana twitter, bila ada yang terasa melampau dan my tweets dah jadik begitu hot dan penuh kontroversi menjadi buah mulut. Well, never mind. aku tak perlu pergi heboh-heboh pasal ni nak bela diri aku.

memang salah aku sebab reply tweets someone ni bila dia tweets penuh rebellious berkenaan perihal dia kena pilih jadik calon jpp. Tapi adalah salah dia bila terasa tak bertempat pada tweets yang bukan untuk dia dan mulalah nak gelabah tak tentu pasal. Mula duk stress fikir bukan-bukan. What the heck. Opinion aku la, kalau kau tu mudah terasa dengan certain tweets, memang sah lah kau yang bersalah.  Since aku dah apologize aku rasa better aku sign up untuk another twitter yang tak ada langsung pun budak ipg aku dan aku ni jenis yang ignorant. Aku tahu,ada a few yang datang bercerita pada aku cakap pasal classmate mengumpat aku dan others, tapi aku tak nak terlalu percaya pada rumours. Tapi manusia ni mudah percaya pada rumours and other's assumptions.

Prinsip aku, my close friends tak akan pernah aku cakap bukan-bukan pasal mereka. So far, aku tak pernah bercakap buruk tentang rumate aku (melainkan kutuk-kutuk manja), tentang syida, nabilah, iffah, syuk, dan yang lain. Never. unless orang tu memang buat aku annoying dan selfish menyusahkan orang. (tapi aku a kind of bit kecewa if orang-orang yang aku tak pernah mengata ni mengata or talk behind my back pasal aku) . Pasal this someone, let me explain from A to Z. Lantak la if kau nak baca or tak.

' kita mula renggang bila aku up tweets yang aku tak suka dua orang member classmates aku. Which I never mention their names, tapi kau terasa. Ok, aku dah jujur dengan kau yang memang aku tak suka kau. Sebab kau selfish dan nak ikot kepala kau jer tanpa fikir akan orang lain. Girl, kalau dah tahu kenapa orang tak suka kau, since aku dah terus terang dalam tweets aku kenapa aku tak suka kau, kenapa tak boleh nak ubah lagi perangai?
kedua, isu bilik asrama dan isu jpp. Aku tahu kau play trick masa undian bilik, kau stress tahap cipan sebab takut tak dapat stay bilik kau sampai kau sanggup tipu tulisan kat kertas undian bilik pastu timbul masalah. Lepas tu what do you expect? JPP jugak yang kena bila akak yang dapat bilik kau tu macam pelik macam mana boleh dapat bilik yang sama padahal dia dah cabut undi. See, masalah kau yang timbulkan sampai kena buat undian bilik balik. selfish sampai menyusahkan orang lain. Kalau kau yang kena, kau menyirap tak?

ketiga, kau up tweets yang kau nak benci / dendam dengan jpp kalau ada jpp yang ambik bilik kau yang kau tengah stay untuk undian bilik since jpp dapat pilih bilik. What do you expect? Kalau kau terasa dengan tweets orang lain, kau tak rasa ke jpp tak akan terasa sedikit sebanyak dengan tweets kau yang penuh selfish tu? Nak dendam sampai mati kau mampu ke? Aku nak tengok kau suffer daripada kebencian kau tu. Even though aku ni memang sengaja pilih blok B sebab tak nak sama dengan satu blok korang, tapi aku rasa it is not fair la kau tujukan pada jpp lain sebab aku pun jpp jugak.Come on la, tak semua benda ikut hal yang kita nak kan? kau pun cakap pasal tu jugak once before. So act according your words la.

Kalau macam tu, apa kata kau jadik jpp , mesti kau boleh pilih bilik dengan senang hati. Setakat yang aku faham, salah satu kelebihan jpp adalah dapat pilih bilik, yang lain kami dapat kata-kata yang menyakitkan hati,especially daripada manusia yang tak paham macam kau. (konon put yourself into my shoes konon, kau pernah letak diri kau dalam situasi orang lain? ) Reflect yourself girl, be matured.

lagi satu, apa perasaan kau bila classmates sendiri tidak cuba untuk paham situasi JPP macam aku dan ASH? kami bukan classmate korang ke sebab jadik jpp? bila ada rumours cakap classmates sendiri mengata jpp which include both of us, aku cakap pada diri, my classmates tak akan buat macam itu. Hopefully anggapan aku betul.

kau terpilih jadik jpp.Stress kemain. Tapi kan dah janji yang tesl tak akan vote untuk kau, so why worry? Kau boleh rebel untuk tolak jawatan macam kau buat untuk PRS. Why not? Tapi kau mention tak puas hati tesl main undi. Boleh bertenang tak? Aku dulu, dengan ASh dengan didi semua pun naik bertanding jawatan atas dasar paksaan. Aku buat manifesto dalam kepala otak dua minit sebelum aku on stage, tapi entah apa nasib aku dapat jadik jpp. Aku dah la tak suka maktab, pastu kena jadik jpp pulak. Tapi aku terima, sebab aku rasa maybe ada something that I can learn bila aku jadik jpp nanti.  Tapi kau cakap unfair sebab tesl main undi budak kos lain main demokrasi sebab kau nak lepas daripada undian kan? Paham sangat permainan kau. Kalau demokrasi mesti bukan nama kau yang naik.
tapi sejujurnya aku cakap, kau layak untuk jadik jpp since kau ada ciri-ciri kepimpinan dan aku suka kalau kau jadik jpp sebab kau boleh rasa sendiri apa yang jpp lain rasa peritnya bila kena tindas, kena marah dan kena kritik dan supaya kau boleh telan balik segala apa yang pernah mengata pasal jpp sebelum ni. Maybe it is good for you to have your own karma, what you give you'll get back dengan harapan you will learn to see life in different way. Don't get me wrong, this is not a revenge, but this is an opportunity for you actually. Tapi kalau kau tutup hati kau dan tetap dengan pendirian rebel kau, you learn nothing except rubbish. Orang cakap umpama jilat balik ludah sendiri.
dear you, I only have attitude to dislike but i never been able to hate. Tapi since hal ni dah jadik, aku mohon untuk kau tidak kacau hidup aku. Aku pun malas nak ambik tahu pape pasal class. Asalkan kau tak buat hal yang menyusahkan aku sudahlah. Lepas ni, aku tak heran dan tak kesah since aku bukan lagi jpp dan aku memang malas nak ambik port dalam kelas even though aku tahu pasal certain things. Well, jangan dilayan sangat rumours tu kan.Jangan jadik bodoh untuk percaya pada satu pihak jer sekalipun pihak yang duk cerita tu adalah kawan baik sendiri.

lagi satu, aku harap lepas ni jangan nak terasa lebih-lebih, kalau terasa,feel free to wear the words. Maybe sebab kau salah tu yang kau terasa. Kau cakap kau nak berubah kan, read my tweets kenapa aku tak suka akan attitude kau, tu dah jujur lah tu since kau pun dah tahu aku tak suka perangai kau. Bukan kita tak boleh bergurau senda sebelum ni, tapi since hal ni dah jadik aku maybe nak avoid kau untuk elakkan sebarang masalah lagi dengan kau. Don't worry, I will never hate. Jangan nak terasa ok? Aku pakai twitter satu lagi untuk cakap apa yang aku tak puas hati.don't worry be happy.

off topic but in the context

pelik jugak bila orang yang tak pernah ada twitter ni mula tunjuk minat dgn tweets aku dan mula follow aku. memang ada yang berkata,memang ada yang membawa mulut.Macam ni la kalau duduk maktab semua perempuan, tiada hal lain kecuali gosip sana sini. Padahal aku tak pernah pulak nak stalk2 twitter orang pastu nak pergi heboh satu dunia pasal someone ni. Tak perlu, twitter ni tempat orang luahkan perasaan, maybe apa yang dia post tu untuk sementara, dari jiwa yang tengah marah. Mana tahu lepas tu dia dah reda. Tapi si pembawa mulut ni yang akan sebabkan hubungan lagi parah. Si A luahkan kat twitter sebab tak nak gaduh dengan si B tapi si C pergi cakap kat si B yang si A ni marah kat si B. Maka bergaduhlah sampai ke sudah mereka ini. AKu mohon untuk aku tidak ikut jejak langkah si C ni. Dosa pengadu domba perlu aku jauhi,lagipun, aku ni species kesah pasal orang ke? pasal classmate aku sendiri pun aku jarang bercakap or ambik tahu. Sorry if I am being too ignorant.

buat kawan sorang lagi yang aku tak suka, aku sebenarnya bukan tak boleh ngam langsung dengan kau. Kau sangat baik dan aku memang anggap kau kawan baik. Aku ulang kawan baik. Hanya pada certain situation bila kau kasar tu yang aku tak boleh terima. Tapi lama-lama aku ignore je that feeling and aku boleh masuk balik dengan kau. So, kau lagi percaya pada apa yang disampaikan pada kau pasal tweets aku, up to you. Aku tweets sebab nak lepaskan kemarahan aku.Aku tak macam orang lain yang boleh pendam macam tu.Maaf.
Sekian. for both of you, I am sorry. budak ipg kpm or my classmates, maaf. Tapi setakat ni my tweets tak de lagi nak mengumpat or kutuk korang. Hanya a few not more than five person yang aku tweets tak puas hati.ottoke? sebab aku hormat korang as friends, sebab aku bukan jenis ambik tahu sangat pasal orang, sebab aku cherish friendship dengan korang dan sebab aku sendiri ada kelemahan aku sendiri.

ohh bahana twitter. Wahai akak, sebab unmention dengan akak la, ada orang lain terasa dengan tweets responsibility tu. itu general statement. Akak tu cakap, kenapa perlu terasa? bukan mention nama pun. Oh scary.so selamat, aku pakai twitter baru. Tak perlu ada yang nak butthurt dengan aku, dan aku ada privasy aku sendiri.Tapi sayang sungguh nak deactivate twitter lama. sob sob sebab ada akak, ada nana dan yang lain. Aku diamkan diri sekalipun ramai yang berkata pasal isu ni, aku tak kesah if mereka cakap aku yang salah. Aku tak perlu cakap pape, sebab ini hal aku dan dia. Mereka nak cakap, silakan. Malas nak defend diri sendiri. Tak perlu heboh satu dunia, tak perlu jadik tak matured.Cukup aku jadik tak matured sebab dealing dengan someone yang macam ni. tunggang terbalik dunia aku.

ok cukup.  My blog ni pun private, if mereka dapat jumpa mereka hebat. hehe. then keep saying a few things about me,silakan.

tak suka tak bermakna benci, tak bermakna tak boleh accept langsung as friends. Haih, hal kecik diperbesarkan hanya sebab kata-kata. So syaz, hati hati. Jangan mudah berkata-kata. Diam itu lebih baik. #self reminder.

[ Happy Birthday AYU.. (12/1/2013) ]


even though birthday AYU 13/1/1992 tapi kami celebrate birthday dia awal beberapa jam sebelum 13/1/2013 menjelma. Khas kami nyanyikan lagu Gadis dan Bunga nyanyian oleh MAx24 untuk si hidayu yusof ni.

Petang tu aku, tasha, bella, dan syuk keluar pergi beli kek untuk celebrate birthday ayu ni. Masa dalam kereta tu la kami terdengar lagu Gadis dan Bunga ni maka kami decide nak nyanyikan lagu ni untuk birthday ayu malam tu.

Siap plan nak buat dance or performance macam mana untuk kasi kat Ayu, macam ngeng jer tapi layankan jer la.After isyak kami sempat praktis dance untuk birthday ayu before bawak ayu pergi stadium sukan, konon-konon nak main basketball. Ewahh, padahal bola basketball aku lesap entah ke mana dah. Sob sob.
Aku ajak ayu konon nak gi cari bola basketball tu lah supaya dapat bagi chance pada yang lain untuk prepare kek dan lagu. Sampai je PGL,  terus kami nyanyikan lagu happy birthday untuk si AYU ni siap dance comel-comel gitu. Siap ada rakaman lagi ok.

Pastu mula la buat kerja entah pape, siap interview wishes lagi, siap menari pusing-pusing lagi. We really enjoyed the moments, enjoyed the night. No more prank since kami dah besar untuk prank-prank ni.Tak macam last year dah.

Buat ayu, selamat hari lahir. Semoga cepat kawen dengan ijat, semoga jadik ustazah yang baik. Semoga dapat achieve apa yang diimpikan. Lagi satu, mohon ingat yang umur awak adalah 21 ok, bukan 22. Kami 22. So you need to stay younger than us ;)

this video pasti akan membuatkan aku rindu korang as my geng. Cuma Ika tak dapat join since dia kena balik untuk appointment doktor.tapi video tak dapat nak upload kat sini. So simpan lah dalam hard disk je.

p/s : naik basikal memang cukup seksa especially bila nad kena membonceng aku. Bontot aku sakit sebab dah lama tak naik basikal. ngeh ngeh ngeh. Lagu gadis dan bunga tu lagu tema birthday ayu ok?


ika was missing



[ weekend 13/ 1/ 2013 ]


pergi cycling dalam hujan di bukit serindit dengan nad, ayu, bella, fara, dan syukriah.Kami rembat basikal entah sapa punyer kat asrama tu since kami pakai konsep wakaf so kami pun cycling la pergi bukit serindit. Konon nak jogging, lagi best konon nak pergi pukul 7.3o pagi lagi tapi ohhhh hampeh semua itu. 8.30 pagi baru kami pergi.

sesungguhnya rumate aku fara arif tentang jalan shortcut nak pergi bukit serindit. Wondering how she managed to know all the route to arrive the using jalan kampung padahal bukan selalu dia pergi bukit serindit.haha. Cycling dalam hujan round and round siap kena marah dengan sorang pak cik cina ni sebab takutkan burung-burung merpati kat bukit serindit tu.

Cycling je la kami mampu since hujan boleh tahan best jugak renyai renyai. Lepas tu part paling best, rantai basikal yang rumate aku kayuh putus tetibe kat tengah jalan. Punyer la agak suffer si nad bawak basikal yang putus rantai tu since fara tak tahu nak bawak basikal rosak tu sampil pegang pada basikal aku untuk bawak dia balik maktab.

Free-free kami tolong gantikan rantai basikal entah sapa punyer eventhough kami tahu rantai tu putus sebab uzur sangat dah. Nevermind, at least we responsible on what we did. Kami pinjam so tu salah kami bila rantai basikal tu putus. RM7 melayang sebab ganti rantai basikal. To the owner, mintak maaf sebab rantai basikal awak putus, tapi kami dah ganti baru taw.

aku jugak belajar cara nak tukar rantai basikal mana tahu in future aku nak tukar rantai basikal anak aku ke. hiks. Watch and learn. Watch and learn. ;) Balik-balik terus ting tong sebab makan roti canai lepas cycling . Mana aku nak kurus kalau macam ni kan. ngeh3.Revise subject Mr. Thillai since aku memang cuak bila subject dia. Isnin adalah subject dia mengajar. Oh no, dia ajar aku untuk always be prepared before the lecture begin and prepare for the presentations. 

p/s : boleh tahan jugak cycling ni. berpeluh jugak la.hihi




our memories 

[ a good advice ]



12/ 1/ 2013
I finally called AM, kawan lama masa zaman matrikulasi dulu-dulu. He was my ketua praktikum (prac. leader) and we used to quarrel and argue on certain issues. Dulu kerja kami asyik tak puas hati antara satu sama lain. Maybe both of us species nak menang, species keras kepala + ego  sebab itulah kami sentiasa gaduh. Haihh. Zaman tak matang. Maybe both of us came from fire elements hence we can't really get along but to be frank, I need him as a brother. I still remember a few good advices from him until today and I am strongly believe that he is right in his advices. He is a man with arrogant but with wisdom as well. He is matured enough and a good brother lah kan of course. ;)

We talked for almost an hour using my new celcom (oh,sungguh jimat pakai pelan X2 ni) and we exchange stories about our current life. He said my life was pathetic. Yeah I know that but I have no other option. He even managed to mention me as clumsy and tidak matang. Well, it is good that we finally managed to talk like siblings again regardless  of what had happened during our matriculation year.  Let me state his few advices :

# ada 3 I yang perlu kita pegang dalam hidup kita. Then we manage to live well. The 3 I's are ISLAM, IMAN and IHSAN.
# jangan pernah tinggal solat. Kalau ada masalah, mengadu sungguh pada Allah . Dia Maha Mendengar sepanjang masa compared to our friends. HE knows us better. Kawan pun tak semestinya ada untuk kita. Tak perlu cerita masalah kita pada manusia tetapi kepada Allah. (I almost cry)
# Be real in this world. Be somebody. Be different. Even though the whole world will turn against you. He dared me to do something , some kind of achievement.
# Jangan mudah terpengaruh dengan mentaliti typical malay. Especially untuk aku yang berada di maktab semua melayu ni.Mix around and be open. Don't let them ruin you.

Itu sahaja kot. Banyak lagi tapi memandangkan aku ni species makan semut banyak,so aku dah lupa. hehe. Mohon AMINRULLAH mampu grad dengan jayanya. Mohon AM carikan aku satu properties tanah yang cun. Mohon jangan ajak aku main golf since batang golf sama tinggi dengan aku.Mohon AM bawak aku travel pergi Istanbul. Aku doakan AM mampu jadik sehebat Donald Trump yang banyak aset tu. Insyaallah. 

[ 30 days without you ]



today is the sixth day I am living my life without you. I just don't know how far I can go on living without clinging to you. I am very vulnerable when I am weak and I will be clinging on someone who is opposite sex with me in order to have some grip. It is not that I cannot clinging on woman but I am 
sick of being 'tikam dari belakang' by people of my same gender.

When I know the truth, that I am just a friend, not as best friend like I reckoned you and when I think I am depending too much on him, plus I think he will someday will come to his final limit of patience dealing with me, being too annoyed with me, it is better for me to step back and slowly walk away from his life. Actually, I have debt with him and I need to pay this debt which is I need to return his life to the normal point. A point before both of us met once ago. I am praying for a strength from HIM so that I can pay my debt.

Actually, when I reflect myself and when I recalled everything, I think that I bring nothing into his life. Whether I exist in his life or I walk away from him, it will bring no effect. If he needs me as a friend, he will at least show at least an effort to appreciate me. A simple SMS would be fine but yeah I think I always be the one who start the conversation. I think that I should have my pride. I need to walk away from someone who is trying to avoid you or from someone who never need you in his life
30 days without you. I am counting day, trying my best  not to disturb him anymore. I wanted to return his normal life but I will be praying from far.

 Last word, rindu. Yeap, kind of missing him already actually but I know, whether in 30 days or 360 fdays, if I did not start to disturb him, he will never text me. Apa guna ada fb ke fon number  if tak mampu nak say hi. Bagi aku, itu petanda yang aku tak diperlukan dalam hidup seseorang itu. I believe in action more than words.
I hope you will live well in ipsah. 

Friday, January 11, 2013

wonderful weekend. I am grateful for every single things that happened in my life.
Alhamdulillah.
I am doing fine.

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

best friend

how do you claim someone is your best friend when he or she keeps a lot of secret from you?
i know it is his or her rights to keep the secret from you, but please don't lie in order to keep the secret.
truth will be revealed one day, the worst part when you know something or when you hear the truth about your best friend from other people. How does it feels?

I believe that in relationship, I never keep any secret from my best friend as I will hardly consider someone to be my best friend. It is kind of offence for me when I know something from others, not from my best friend. What is the purpose of considering him or her as good friend when he or she can tell the truth to other people but not you. That is what I believe.

I am not a toy.

let go

i let you go
i am done chasing
i am sorry
i will only care about you from far

berat hati untuk lepaskan sesuatu yang bermakna or seseorang yang bermakna dalam hidup kita tapi untuk apa berharap pada sesuatu or seseorang yang memang tidak pernah ada untuk kita walau cuma untuk sedikit

Monday, January 7, 2013

Sunday, January 6, 2013

1/ 1/ 2013

Alhamdulillah finally arrived in one piece to malacca and also my college on 1 January 2013.Hello new year. It is such a lucky moment for Syida and I since we met Dr. Kamaruddin. We are in the same bus actually and he send us to the college right after her wife fetch him at Melaka Sentral.

I immediately went to the store to get my things and all the clothes and books that I have kept in that room. Fuh, mahu patah pinggang den rasanya dengan sakit badan duduk dalam bus selama 12 hours lagi, pastu nak bawak keluar those kotak-kotak from the stor lagi, nak tolak those kotak-kotak pergi ke tangga hujung lagi. Tu tak termasuk nak angkat naik kotak-kotak tu semua bawak masuk ke bilik aku di aras dua. Fuhhh... Penat habis.

Pukul 10 lebih aku daftar then terus masuk bilik. Barang-barang aku tak bawak naik pun except for my luggage sebab nak tunggu rumate aku datang baru nak angkat sama-sama. After I got my room key, I entered my room and it is quite disappointed to know the fan does not work. Mencabarnya hidup tapi since aku memang mengantuk + penat duduk dalam bus tu, aku lelap jugak finally until 2.30pm after aku dapat message dari ashratul untuk ajak keluar makan dan beli barang. Aku keluar dengan ash ,awanis dan shera pergi jusco. Balik pukul 7 lebih dah pastu malam tu baru duk angkat barang dengan si fara.

sebab penat sangat, tak semua barang dapat angkat habis. Bila macam ni, rasa diri tough sangat macam lelaki sebab boleh angkat kotak-kotak buku yang maha dasyat lagi berat tu semua. haha. Paling menguji ketahanan dan kesabaran bila pintu bilik aku tetiba terlock tak dapat buka sebab kunci dia stuck. Mula la aku turun naik tangga pergi bilik penyelia untuk ambik master key, mujur jpp blok kediaman ada kat bilik tu malam tu. hiks. mahu tak dua tiga kali aku turun naik tangga. Sob sob. Rasa energy level tinggal 10% je lagi. So we decided to stop and sleep. Esok la sambung lagi.

Malam tu tidur dalam pukul satu lebih since penat. Syukur sangat sebab tak kena insomnia. Oh yeah, maybe sebab penat and esok first kuliah so badan aku paham yang aku kena tidur. ;)

too many things happened on 1st January 2013. Well, I started my day with some challenges and obstacles. Just bring it on ok, 2013. I will be ready. Banyak perubahan dasar yang dibuat since pengarah baru ni datang. Hopefully rules makin longgar. weeeee. Ah, longgar ke tak aku main redah jer.

hadiah daripada pihak kolej kepada NYDP sebab parking kereta di tempat yang salah. Tak paham aku dengan arahan admin ni. Hai, awal-awal lagi boleh kasi orang menyirap darah. ;)

bila aku masuk je area asrama pagi tu, aku tengok notes ni kat kereta ashratul aka nydp. semoga tabah. ok lagi asal tak kena clamp tayar kan. hiks.hadiah new year la katakan


[ current life ]

so far I am living a good life. my room was quite enormous, near to the washroom and washing machine but I have to climb level 2 to reach my room (boleh kurus naik turun tangga), and the best part, my room face masjid Al Azim so I can hear the azam five times per day. Alhamdulillah.

I love the night view from my room. I could see the highway, the cars going here and there and the lights but I will make sure I closed the window and put down the curtain ( takut oii tidur hadap tingkap ni, macam-macam aku terbayang) .

I am still grateful that I can stay with fara. We have been together for more than a year and we are still together. She is really a sister sometimes. ;)

our bilik. Lela Sari (LS-2-33)


loker kami..

meja solek, erk. meja solek ke orang panggil. katil rumate ada bear besar. Silap2 aku yang takut nak tidur malam

tingkap ni buat bilik kami sejuk..

katil aku yang ada chipmunk, meja study aku yang ada laptop 

our bakul baju. (sedih sebab tak boleh beli sepasang) 

rak makanan, n bakul baju je la kami beli.shoerack disediakan.



just kena beli tempat sangkut baju jer. Serabut bila tengok baju-baju duk gantung macam tu.Tak kemas oke ;)

2 / 1 / 2013



My first day kuliah but I have to skip my lecture from 8am to 10am as I need cater for a degree orientation that involved my juniors. Luckily the lecturer didn't enter the class within that hours. Pheww, I didn't miss any lecture yet. ;)

I have a meeting at 7.30am which I didn't purposely absent . A silly incident happened and nothing much damaged happened even though I didn't attend the meeting. It was just a short and brief meeting. haha. I was smiling to see the cafeteria with the new tender and so far I have nothing to complain when there are a few of my classmates complained about the new cafeteria. I think it is still too early to complain as they are dealing with their first too serving at our cafeteria. There must be a few lack and what do you expect? perfection? come on, you yourself can't even be that perfect. So shut your mouth up.

There were only two subjects that I learnt today and hopefully I can maintain my momentum in the classroom and I hope not to drift away like the previous semester and the class ended at 1 pm. I went to the cafeteria to have my lunch with my classmates and having kuey teow basah with a cheap price (rm3.00) was such a blessing. I don't understand why they have to complain. Huh. You need to be in their shoes people in order to understand their situation.

I managed to buy a skirt with SYida, oh she is good with business ok. You can buy cheap skirt with her and please visit her room to buy the skirt ( if you love to wear skirt )  and went to tesco, giant, andalas, and kedai rm2 to buy a few items for my room. Pheww, such a hectic day. I fall asleep in the car, talk less with Bella and Tasha. Totally exhausted.

that night, I have a meeting  with JPP members at 9.30pm. I hope it will be the last meeting(sedihnya, lepas ni tak boleh nak gelak-gelak lagi dah dengan mereka). there are a few things that need our attentions and there are a few information that we need to update since we have a new director and definitely we will have a few changes especially with the administration's systems and regulations. (harap-harap rules makin linear, makin ok)  and for the first time in my life I saw a strong woman cried in from of us. She was such a great female leader when she managed to endure with those obstacles in order to fight for the student's right which that include to jeopardize her future. I was worried about her as this will be her final year. Insyaallah, everything will be ok. We will be with her no matter what.

the best part, gurau-gurau entah paper with the jpp members including my seniors. rasa macam ada kakak sendiri. See, my life is wonderful to have them around in my life. Thank you dear Allah.
balik meeting dalam pukul 11 lebih siap sempat tweet-tweet lagi. Since it is an informal meeting. Siap boleh makan-makan lagi. ;) I love you JPP. *hold my tears* tak lama lagi dah nak watikah perletakan jawatan and diharap bakal JPP akan mampu memimpin dengan lebih baik daripada kami. I have too much memories with JPP members and I am going to cherish the moments.
I did my powerpoint presentation for my tutorial . Awal-awal lagi dah siap ada tutorial. Wuuuu. pastu iron baju batik ( salah satu aktiviti yang ajar aku erti kesabaran yang cukup tinggi. ) Then , I start writing this blog. So, I think that's all. Let's call it a day. 

bye 2012


memoires of 2012
finally 2012 bid goodbye and 2013 welcomed me. I am still grateful to be still alive and I am grateful for everything that happened in 2012. Before I can really close the thick chapter of 2012, I really wanted to reminisce a few important events or incident that turned to be memories in my life. 365 pages of 2012, there are so many things to remember but I wanted to list a few memoires that I can vividly recall in my mind.

# I went to Pulau Pangkor, Port Dickson, Tasik Biru for my Bina Insan Guru, USS singapore, Kota Tinggi Waterfall and China.
# overnight with my lovely roommate, study all out for my final exam. I am grateful for not having any D grade in my exam or else I would have to repeat the paper.
# a few time being caught red handed by the HEP, ( ketua disiplin, our favourite Encik Roslan ) and encounter a few arguments with him. Definitely he won the arguments.  ;)
# celebrating Syida's birthday and also my geng's birthday with lots of pranks.  I also have to receive my prank too from my geng right. ;) I can never forget Bella's prank birthday and mine as well and I would totally laugh like crazy whenever I recalled the moments. Thank you for the memories friends.
# Finally one of my classmate have to leave the college, it is such a big shock for me and I think I am such a bad person for not be able to be beside her at the moment she needs me but I am totally happy to her being too strong and she is happy with her new life blessings. I learnt, everything happens for a reason.
# I have to say goodbyes to Kak G and another kakak senior when they finally managed to finish their final semester. I always hate goodbyes and I am missing them. I would remember memories that we have shared when I handle the camping as a facilitator with them. I learnt a lot through them.
# obstacles and hardship that I think I cannot mention here because they too much to mention but I am totally grateful as they made me grew stronger and I think I am a better person because of the obstacles and hardships. I made beautiful mistakes and I learnt the best from the mistakes even though it is too painful to accept.
# I met someone who is almost exactly alike someone that owns my heart and I am content to be his friend so far.
# Went to Kedah for my second PBS and I really fall in love with Kedah. It is such a peaceful state.
# I made a decision that I know will cause a few damages in my relationship with the lecturer but I learnt to be firm with my decision. Once you make up your mind, never look back and be firm and confident with your decision as you need to be prepared with the consequences from your action.
# My heart never change. It always whisper a name but I always  make myself damn busy enjoying my life.
# being chosen as one of the top 10 achievers for PNB's quiz and I managed to get rank 3 out of 10. It was totally unexpected and I was damn close to be at the rank 2 as we share the same mark but my friend was much luckier compared to me to be at the second rank and managed to proceed to the next level that was held in Penang. They managed to get third place. Life is unexpected.
# I spend more times with my classmates as this year I did not really involve with packed activities for JPP and with a few ADHOCK and I managed to get to know them better and build a stronger friendship with them.

I think that's all for 2012. Perhaps I missed something but let it be in my mind ok. I am grateful for this wonderful when I finally started to appreciate my life, complain less and try to see something through another edge of view.

Bring it on 2013. I am ready to face 2013 and thanks to 2012.

ulser

currently having a big ulser inside my mouth. Aku tetibe jadik pendiam, daripada budak yang banyak cakap, terus diam dan aku tak makan nasi for three days dah. Sakit sikit macam ni pun dah rasa seksa, now I really understand betapa pentingnya nikmat kesihatan yang Allah bagi kepada kita. Aku dah sapu bonjela tapi macam tak jalan jer, tunggu masa nak taruk garam jer sekarang. Cuma tak sanggup lagi sebab pedih oiiii. Kumur air garam masa kat rumah nenek esah tu pun aku dah berair mata tahan sakit, inikan pulak nak taruk garam betul-betul atas ulser tu. 

I take this as kifarah dosa. Aku harap in few days ulser akan hilang sebab dah dekat 9 hari ulser ni ada dalam mulut. Lagi sedih bila muka aku pun mula naik bintik-bintik. Sah aku elergi makanan lagi. ;( 

1st WEEKEND

hooray, first weekend for 2013. 
I am totally enjoying my life so far, trying my best to complaint less and to learn as much as I can everyday. 
well, since I can say hello to my beauty weekend, I did crave a few memorable memories with my beloved geng dan roomates 

friday 4/1/2013
I finished my lecture at 11 am. pheww, it felt so good to know the remaining class that up to 1pm was cancelled. so the lecture only ran until 11pm. oh yeah. I went to post office to accompany my roomate. She wanted to post her luggage to her sister. We had our moment at Keluargaku Supermarket for half and hour, having ice cream. We chatted and laughed and giggled, just like other girls used to do. Back to our hostel, we did our laundry. We are the first to use the washing machine since it have just been set up at the second floor, very near to my room and the toilet. I am totally grateful for the facilities. ;) Around 6 pm, I joined my geng for a futsal. it was my first time playing futsal and we really enjoyed the moment. 

I really amazed with iffah. I thought that a girl like her, used to be very soft and gentle will not be going to play futsal but I was wrong. She scored with her bare foot and skinny jean ok. Unluckily for her when she scored her own goal, giving a point for my team. ;) I have my first memorable moments with my geng ( iffah, syuk, rumate, bella, ayu,nad, hidayu, and tasha except for ika who has to go for a medical appointment since she undergo a surgery last year.) Actually it was hidayu who really excited to go for futsal since her future adik ipar invited her for a futsal match with her friends.main suka suka jer. I found this sport was quite interesting, fuh I was sweating all over and I think I played quite well. (ceh, puji diri sendiri kan) . 

we slept at nenek esah's house (Bella's relatives) after we have our late supper and the next morning we went back to our college. 
(best jugak tidur ramai-ramai kat rumah nenek, pastu gaduh-gaduh manja antara satu sama lain) 

sunday 6/1/2013
My roomate and I decided to cycle to MYDIN to get some items for our room. Ini kerja entah pape yang pertama aku dengan rumate aku buat. Pinjam basikal orang pastu dengan tak tahu jalan kampung untuk ke mydin, main redah jer nak tak nak aku dengan si fara ni main redah je ikut highway.Perghh, mahu tak gigil sedikit sebanyak since aku ni cuak sikit dengan kereta laju-laju ni. Tapi alhamdulillah kami selamat pergi selamat pulang. Before tu syuk dengan tini ajak kami makan roti canai lepak-lepak jap baru pergi mydin. Rasa macam buat explorace pulak bila kami bukan setakat pergi Mydin jer, tapi pergi Jusco, dan melaka sentral. Phewww, life is good. life is fun. Kadang-kadang, why not we go for some challenging moments right? I enjoyed the moments with si fara dan aku rasa bosan lah asyik pergi dengan kereta. naik basikal ni buat aku rasa susah nak hidup kat tempat orang. Selain jimat duit tambang, boleh exercise. Agak-agak aku boleh kurus tak kalau every weekend pergi outing naik basikal je? hihi. lepas ni kena belajar cari jalan kampung since aku dah serik dengan highway. 

beli a few items macam perfume bilik, bakul baju, etc. macam ni la awal-awal tahun, itu tak de ini tak de. Elaun pun tak de lagi. best jugak buat kerja gila-gila dengan si fara ni..

p/s : since broadband dah bayar, gigih lagi aku kayuh basikal pergi jusco bayar bil, so aku kena buat tutorial la jawabnya malam ni. Oh, student life. ;)