Sunday, January 13, 2013

[ 30 days without you ]

today is the sixth day I am living my life without you. I just don't know how far I can go on living without clinging to you. I am very vulnerable when I am weak and I will be clinging on someone who is opposite sex with me in order to have some grip. It is not that I cannot clinging on woman but I am 
sick of being 'tikam dari belakang' by people of my same gender.

When I know the truth, that I am just a friend, not as best friend like I reckoned you and when I think I am depending too much on him, plus I think he will someday will come to his final limit of patience dealing with me, being too annoyed with me, it is better for me to step back and slowly walk away from his life. Actually, I have debt with him and I need to pay this debt which is I need to return his life to the normal point. A point before both of us met once ago. I am praying for a strength from HIM so that I can pay my debt.

Actually, when I reflect myself and when I recalled everything, I think that I bring nothing into his life. Whether I exist in his life or I walk away from him, it will bring no effect. If he needs me as a friend, he will at least show at least an effort to appreciate me. A simple SMS would be fine but yeah I think I always be the one who start the conversation. I think that I should have my pride. I need to walk away from someone who is trying to avoid you or from someone who never need you in his life
30 days without you. I am counting day, trying my best  not to disturb him anymore. I wanted to return his normal life but I will be praying from far.

 Last word, rindu. Yeap, kind of missing him already actually but I know, whether in 30 days or 360 fdays, if I did not start to disturb him, he will never text me. Apa guna ada fb ke fon number  if tak mampu nak say hi. Bagi aku, itu petanda yang aku tak diperlukan dalam hidup seseorang itu. I believe in action more than words.
I hope you will live well in ipsah. 

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