Thursday, February 28, 2013


pain. Enduring with period pain is not a new thing for me.. Pinggang rasa ngilu. Rasa macam tak larat nak gi kelas, nak fokus dalam kelas yg ada aircond lagi. Haih ,mencabar.

petang pulak main basketball. Rasa macam nak withdraw je masuk tournament sukan IPT Melaka sebab hari sabtu tu nak pergi The Mines untuk pesta buku. Ahad mesti nak fokus pada assignment yang nak kena submit 3 pada Isnin nya tu.

Kelas almost everyday sampai petang. Payah la macam ni.. Memang macam kena withdraw terus jer dari tournament tu lagipun aku reserve player je so macam tak de hal sangat la kan.

Penat. Cepat la bulan tiga berlalu, maka assignment pun mesti berlalu jugak..

Period pain, please go away.

Tuesday, February 26, 2013

27/2/2013 Al Fatihah

Al Fatihah di atas pemergian arwah suami Puan Mastura, who is my former lecturer, who is also one of my relatives. They are just like my parents here since I am far with my biological parents. 

He passed away at 4.30 a.m and we, all teslian (38 of us) went to visit her to give our last respect to the family. I think, I owe nothing and I am not going to hold any remorse since Nana and I visited arwah yester at Mahkota Medical Centre and seeing him yesterday, I was totally shocked to him in that way. Once before, he is quite chubby and he looked very healthy and fit but yesterday, he was very thin and he cannot speak at all. 

I could not hold myself from crying when the moments Ibu cried. I could see the power of love between spouses. She took care of him, reciting him yassin, helping him to pray and I believe she was there with him until his last breath. Just morning when we visited her, she did not shed any tears, not at all. Even when she gave him the last kiss before he was 'dikafankan'. 

Yesterday, I also see how a person from a fit and healthy person turned out to be in such a way, very weak and vulnerable. Betapa kita perlu mensyukuri nikmat kesihatan yang kita ada sekarang. 

yesterday, madam Mastura said :' cancer ni jahat la, she took my husband'. As if she was ready to lose her husband. She cried though she kept saying that she will be strong ' I am strong, I am...' the moment her eldest daughter send her a text message " maafkan along sebab tak dapat jaga abah ". It was very touching and I tried my best not to sob in front of them. Thanks to Nana for being there to give some support, to stop me from crying. It is not nice to cry in front of sick person, as it will influence their emotion. 

Now I know, it is not easy to be strong when you are chosen by HIM, to be tested, the strength will come. Yes, HE promised us : Manusia diuji mengikut kemampuan manusia itu sendiri. 

berat lagi mata memandang, berat lagi bahu memikul. Yes it is. We cried to that person suffer, that person suffer greater than we can ever imagine. 

the cancer was at the fourth stage and there's nothing we could do. As if the whole family are prepared to lose a noble man. Just morning, I did not see any tears from madam Mastura. She was very strong, knowing her, she is strong. 

Al fatihah to arwah ayah. I know you as loving husband and father. May Allah place you in heaven. Insyaallah and I pray so that the family will be strong to face this lost. 

'daripada Allah kita datang, kepada Allah kita kembali' We belonged to HIM....

Death, a perfect reminder to us. No one can predict when we are going to die. 

'that is life'.. Last word from Madam Mastura. 

p/s : one thing that I fear, I lost my parents when I am far from them. Ya Allah, biarlah aku sempat menjaga mereka sebelum mereka dipulangkan kepangkuan MU.. I did not attend both funeral for my grandparents since I was far away from them and the remorse is still there, I guess but that's life. 

Tak terkilan sebab sempat pergi melawat semalam. So, kalau ada relatives or friends kita yang sakit, try to find time to visit them. It might be your last meeting with them.. 


today might see that person smiling, tomorrow you might not be able to see him again.
today you may see a person is running happily, tomorrow he might be on the wheel chair.
today you yourself can laugh and smile, tomorrow there is no guarantee that you will be able to do the same thing again.  

life is so unpredictable. 
No one has the superpower to foresee things and future.
Only Allah knows everything. 
'DIA Yang Maha Mengetahui segala isi langit dan bumi'. 

All we need to do is to live our life wholeheartedly.
life your life with all your life
forgive easily, forget the grudges, no one is perfect.
Even myself is a sinner

live like you are dying tomorrow. 
A perfect reminder for all, especially ]to all muslim.