Saturday, November 29, 2014

the heart wants what the heart wants

the heart wants what the heart wants.

deep quotation ni. No matter how hard we try to diverge, to distract our heart towards something else from what it wants, still you fail .

dear heart, why you so stubborn? Why you still love, you still choose a bad person to love? Why do you choose  a bad person who will just toy with your love, play with it and when he satisfied, enough with the game, he crashed you down into pieces. You were left broken into pieces.

Dear heart, it is not only you have to feel the pain, it is me. It is me who has been crying over my stupidity ... no, your stupidity dear heart for still loving him. No matter how bad, how evil, how cruel he has treated you still, you still want him.

why? I swear, if I can control you dear heart, if I am the one who is given chance to choose who to love, I will definitely are not going to choose him because I know my life will be happier.

dear heart, did you know the bad consequences that you have caused to me?? you have to know, no matter how hard you try, he will never appreciate it. He will just treat it like trash. Even me, he treated me like trash.

and I know I've lost him, coz I can never win over his heart. If you believe that quotation once said ' sincerity and kindness and love will win the fight' . No you are wrong. As much as I cannot control you, dear heart,, other cannot have total control over their heart . Some just are cold hearted.

please, am I tired already. I am broken into pieces already.

dear heart, you belong to me. you are my heart, which once ago being so naive and little, who always happy and wants others to be happy too now you are broken, you are hurt so badly.

tak penat ke untuk terus sakit? and no one can really understand you except your tears. Even I cry in my sleep, I woke up in the morning with teary eyes,, and you are beating painfully when I recalled my last night dream.

let go dear heart. cukup cukup la jadikan aku manusia paling bodoh dalam muka bumi ni.. I made myself as a strong and independent person yet you've changed me into a weak person because of love. Hey, love story dan cerita khayalan yang ada happy ending bukan untuk manusia seperti aku tahu..

dan ini bukan lagi cinta yang perlu diagungkan bila kau buat benda bodoh,, you are sinful. This is not love anymore. Yeah, doing everything because of love, at the end,, you were dumped, ignored, blocked through wassap and twitter. This love have been violated. salah sendiri sebab bodoh.

It is painful. too painful. I don't know how did I manage to survive, how did I manage to still breathing, but painfully breathing each day.

dear heart, you belong to me. I am begging you please stop loving someone who only treated like sampah sarap dalam tong sampah tahu? aku penat, rasa macam nak lari jauh jauh tapi tak tahu mana nak lari. and I ended up crying at the corner of my room,behind the door. Sometimes, I cried until I fell asleep..

is this what you want,dear heart? constantly being hurted and being used? at the end, he still leaves you. you are the broken one here. you are torn. I am silly thing. I am too naive.
I hate you kiroro. I hope someday you are no longer the reason for me to smile. I need to accept the fact that, he wants us to be strangers..

don't know why I am writing this but it seems that my heart cannot take it anymore besides crying. ok tarik nafas,, jom kita fokus pada kerja kita yang deadline dia esok ..

the heart wants what the heart wants, ...
you want the wrong person, dear silly thing!
don't believe in fairy tales that kindness and sincere love can make the impossible become possible, because reality prepares you with cruel real story.

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