Tuesday, January 20, 2015

move on

who says moving on is easy. Some people will be just easy like just a piece of cake. For me, it is the hardest part ever to do.

I am writing this because I wish to pour out everything that I kept inside for this moment. I lied to everyone around me, especially my roommate telling that I can move on already. I told lie that I can get over that charming yet cold hearted Mr. R.... I lied to everyone but not to myself.

It is so painful. It has been a week since I didn't contact him, since I no longer hit the text button and send him text message. I really want to move on by not having any contact with him. Ironically, I missed him so much. I wish to wait to his reply, read his jokes, and being silly together. I missed that moment but I am alone. I restrained myself from contacting him.

I move on by keeping inside that I missed him, but still I always stalk his wassap contact, seeing if he goes online or not almost every night, especially at 2am but I just found out that I have been blocked.

ok. it was painful but what else I can do. He really don't want me in his life and I really need to move on. Only tears that I can express my feeling.

Happy becoming birthday kiroro. I am not sure whether I should wish you birthday or not, afraid that it might bothering or annoys you.

to me, you are wonderful Mr. R .... really wonderful in my eyes, and no one cannot replace you in my heart. It is just that, I shouldn't disturb you anymore, and I should move on (like you said) and I don't want to be treated this way anymore.

Last word, please take a good care of yourself, be strong and stay positive in achieving your life goal. May HE protects you, no matter you are, and may all your dreams come true. Always aim high and never afraid to try. If you need somebody, I will always be there for you.

to me, you are my beautiful sadness kiroro. I missed your laughter, your jokes, your smile, your stern look, your handsome yet so cold face, your advice, and your naughty action.

I don't understand why did I have to cry, because I missed you but you are the one that I should set free. If my presence is a burden to you, let it be my absence.

je t'aime plus.

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